Read over 2 million e-books on any device: Sign up for 30 days free trial of Kindle Unlimited and read your favorite titles. What we need to do is to become observers of our own behaviour when we are interacting with children. As Dr Shefali says, we must consciously become “vigilant witnesses of our own unconsciousness”. We have to pay attention to our habits, thoughts, emotions and presence.

Why start with your own behavior? Well, our life experiences dictate how and why we do everything that we do — including, and maybe especially, raising children. Many of us, whether consciously or unconsciously, repeat patterns that we learned from our parents. Even more unsettling, our childhood traumas tend to inform our decision-making without us being aware of it. Key elements of conscious parenting

What is conscious parenting?

Put most simply, conscious parenting asks that instead of striving to “fix” your child, parents look inward at themselves. Conscious parenting views children as independent beings (though admittedly still developing over time), who can teach parents to become more self-aware. Raising children in our crazy world has never been harder. Dr. Shefali’s classic The Conscious Parent was a game changer that introduced me to the idea of intentional and self-aware parenting. And with The Parenting Map, she has done what seemed impossible, she’s given us the playbook! For parents with kids of all ages, The Parenting Map is the solution-oriented guide you have been looking for to raise independent, authentic, and happy children.” If you have more than one child, you’ve probably noticed how different your children are! Every child is unique, and most likely, you have to adjust your parenting approach to connect with each of your children. But the first step is always acceptance: Yep, we can’t become conscious parents overnight. The only way is to practice daily by engaging in a relationship with your child.

Alrighty, without further ado, let’s get started. Lesson #1: All parents assume they are doing a good job raising their children. Having frequent respectful conversations with adults models healthy, positive relationship skills for children to use in other areas of their life. Conscious parenting is about becoming mindful of your behaviour and engaging with your child as an individual. On the other hand, there are parents who are overly controlling. They want their children to be perfect and to achieve countless things, so they can gain a boost in their status. Feeling pressure to make tough parenting decisions, you may have started looking for groups of fellow parents to seek out advice.Young kids — especially toddlers — are notoriously unreasonable. That can make conscious parenting pretty frustrating and even seem ineffective. Because little children also need more structure and involvement, you may find there’s no time to be “conscious” when they’re throwing a tantrum or dropping your phone in the toilet. Requires high self-awareness But you know, reality doesn’t work like that. People fail all the time, and it’s very common. Usually, there is always another chance. And, in the worst case, if there isn’t much choice, we can figure something out. Our children don’t intend to trigger us; they are just being who they are. Being triggered is an inevitable part of any relationship, so there’s no room for blaming ourselves or anyone else. However, we are responsible for examining our unconscious reactions so that we can curtail them.” The heart of conscious parenting is the ability to be present in any situation that arises. Are you able to respond from a place of awareness rather than attachment? Do you discipline from a place of authenticity or from your ego?” Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We avoid using tertiary references. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.