She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

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The essential guidebook to oral sex, She Comes First offers a radical new philosophy for pleasuring women Throughout the guide, Kerner repeats that gradually increasing clitoral stimulation is the key to making a woman orgasm. However, he introduces another vital component to female orgasm in the above section: muscular tension. While Kerner briefly discusses the importance of muscular tension and providing your partner with points of resistance, he doesn’t fully elaborate on why tension is so important and where the main tension points are.

Taschenbuch. Condition: Neu. Neuware - Did you know that the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings, twice as many as the penis Here is everything you've wondered about the female orgasm and how to make it happen. A witty, well-researched and revealing guide to giving your lover an orgasm every time. More than just foreplay, Ian Kerner argues that oral sex is the key to a great sex life for both partners. Short sections cover philosophy, technique, step-by-step instructions and detailed anatomical information, essential to both beginners and experienced lovers.'It's time to close the sex gap and create a level playing field in the exchange of pleasure, and cunnilingus is far more than just a means for achieving this noble end; it's the cornerstone of a new sexual paradigm, one that exuberantly extols a shared experience of pleasure, intimacy, respect and contentment. It's also one of the greatest gifts of love a man can bestow upon a woman.' Ian Kerner 240 pp. Englisch. Ideas regarding sex in traditional mainstream culture are centered around male anatomy and satisfaction—penetration is the pinnacle of sex, and sex is over when the man ejaculates. However, Ian Kerner explains that these beliefs often leave women unsatisfied. In She Comes First, Kerner explains that for sex to adequately satisfy both partners, we must change the narrative—men should ensure their female partner orgasms first. And the best way to accomplish this, Kerner argues, is through cunnilingus. Shortform note: Kerner mentions that some women may enjoy anal and perineal stimulation. Experts elaborate that some women actually prefer stimulation in these spots over clitoral stimulation, and can orgasm from this alone. This is called an anal orgasm. If your partner thinks she may prefer anal stimulation or wants to try having an anal orgasm, experts recommend stimulating the anal region with your tongue, fingers, or toys like anal plugs, beads, or vibrators.) Step #4: Approaching Orgasm Other summaries give you just a highlight of some of the ideas in a book. We find these too vague to be satisfying. Sadly, many men – and women – are woefully ignorant of female anatomy in general and about women’s genitalia in particular.Kerner defines foreplay as everything that comes before clitoral stimulation. He explains that stimulating your female partner before touching her clitoris is necessary because women require anticipation to become properly aroused.

Resolution is the final stage of the four-phase model. However, Kerner’s explanation of the resolution stage departs from the traditional four-phase model by asserting that women may be able to restart the sexual response process from stage one almost immediately after stage four. This explanation of the resolution phase more closely aligns with the more recent circular model of sexual response. This section will lay out Kerner’s techniques for how to get her aroused with foreplay, how to make her orgasm with cunnilingus, and how to continue the fun after she orgasms with after-play. Foreplay As soon as you place the first kiss upon her vulva, you break the boundary between foreplay and coreplay. Therefore, you should save this move till last. Using your tongue may be the best way to satisfy a woman, but due to the complexity of the clitoris, there’s definitely an art to getting it right. Shorform note: While Kerner says your partner will need a short cool-down period before being ready for sexual stimulation again, experts explain that this isn’t the case for all women. While most women do need a short refractory period, some are able to have something called “rolling orgasms”—these are orgasms that lead seamlessly into one another. So rather than moving on to focus on other parts of her body after her orgasm, she may want you to maintain clitoral stimulation.)

Kerner says sufficient foreplay should last at least 10-15 minutes, and you should wait until her arousal and anticipation have peaked before moving to cunnilingus. However, he notes that the typical indications of arousal like natural vaginal lubrication aren’t always accurate indicators—some women may get wet without being very aroused, and others may be very aroused but not very wet. To more accurately judge when to move to the next step, look for changes in her breathing pattern (like irregular breathing) and tightening of her abdominal muscles. As an author and a coach who has been helping women for more than a decade, I noticed some women were in trouble. Not just in their relationships, some had unfulfilling jobs, didn’t get paid what they were worth, had always dreamt of starting their own business but never did, felt lonely even though they had a husband and kids... the list goes on and on. So many women try to be the perfect girlfriends, wives, mothers, friends, sisters, colleagues, business owners, bosses, and more. They love to serve and want to succeed in the many roles they have to play. They are compliant, even to the people who don’t really deserve that kind of treatment. They give it all they have, every single day. Kerner explains that foreplay can be an extended process that starts to build sexual tension hours before a sexual encounter. This was a newer idea in 2003 when She Comes First was published, as foreplay had previously been considered the sexual activities that come immediately before sex. Since the book’s publication, other sex experts have developed Kerner’s concept of foreplay even further.

She knows how to set the world to her hand, so it seems, and some women wonder how she does it. That’s what this book is about, I’ll uncover her strategies. I’ve been studying and interviewing her for so long now that I can’t wait to share everything with you. It might be easy to just think of sex in terms of preparing, getting it done, and then falling asleep. But this is what average people do and they don’t have great sex. If you really want to reach a new level of pleasure, you should go for multiple orgasms. Still doubtful about the role of the clitoris? Then listen up. People who have the congenital condition vaginal agenesis are born without a vagina, but with external genitals. They are still able to orgasm. Shortform note: While vaginal penetration is a great way to produce multiple orgasms after cunnilingus, experts recommend a few other options. For example, you may want to try anal penetration—this will stimulate the penis while providing a different form of stimulation to your partner. You can also try exaggerating your breathing or syncing your breathing with your partner’s.)Kerner explains that women can orgasm repeatedly, so once she’s achieved her first orgasm, you can move on to other forms of sexual play that will make you orgasm as well. However, before moving on, give her a few minutes to cool down. To do this, return to foreplay activities—kiss her, embrace, and share soft touches.