After conducting a series of studies, Smith developed the theory and practice of systematic assertive therapy. He applied it to patients with the same symptoms as his trainees to successfully guide them in learning how to deal with interpersonal conflict. Smith published his findings on systematic assertiveness for the first time in 1975, and to this day, it continues to top the charts. In his book, Smith combined relevant research findings in psychology, linguistics, and behavioral science to reveal the secret behind assertiveness and taught us how to use it to deal with interpersonal issues. Many people, including Steve Jobs, Hillary Clinton, and former U.S. President Bill Clinton, have personally tried out the book’s methods, and seen remarkable results. Assertiveness is a communication style that is an alternative to passive, manipulative or aggressive styles. Don't apologize too much. If you do feel sorry that you can't do the work, then you can say a simple, "I'm sorry," but the more you keep repeating that you're sorry, the less firm you will sound. The person will think that he can still convince you to do the task, and you'll only make yourself look weak and will feel worse about not doing the task. If you apologize, it will look like you're doing something wrong by not taking on the task, and that's not the case.

When I Say No, I Feel Guilty - Goodreads A quote from When I Say No, I Feel Guilty - Goodreads

They also point out that we also have the right to choose to not be assertive if we don’t want to be – but we also have to accept the consequences of not choosing to be assertive. In addition to intimate relationships, we also need to be assertive in our daily relationships. Daily interpersonal relationships can be divided into two categories: friends and people we are not very familiar with, such as supermarket employees. Auditory hallucinations can be difficult to cope with. But tips, like writing in a diary or positive self-talk, may help you manage your symptoms. READ MOREThe merit of Joe’s argument is as compelling now as it was twenty years ago…and I agree with it! Long-winded technical or mystical explanations are often intriguing and even literary, but not only are they unnecessary, they actually complicate without adding a jot to our understanding. To use what psychology does have to offer, it is more important to know what will work, not why it will work. For example, in treating patients, I find that it is typically useless to concentrate a lot on why a patient is in trouble; that tends to be academic masturbation and can go on for years with no beneficial results. It may even be harmful. It is much more beneficial to concentrate on what the patient is going to do about his behavior rather than to understand why he behaves as he does! Hasta aquí mi reseña, ahora pasemos a la parte de cierta cosa que me ha tocado la moral de Goodreads. I get that this can be done, and it's important to do now and then to establish that you can, although I do also think that white lies make the world go round

When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope, Using the Skills When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope, Using the Skills

The merit of Joe’s argument is as compelling now as it was twenty years ago … and I agree with it! Long-winded technical or mystical explanations are often intriguing and even literary, but not only are they unnecessary, they actually complicate without adding a jot to our understanding. To use what psychology does have to offer, it is more important to know what will work, not why it will work. For example, in treating patients, I find that it is typically useless to concentrate a lot on why a patient is in trouble; that tends to be academic masturbation and can go on for years with no beneficial results. It may even be harmful. It is much more beneficial to concentrate on what the patient is going to do about his behavior rather than to understand why he behaves as he does! It’s not about the problems, but how to cope with them Understand the different tactics people use to get you to say "yes." If you can recognize the different methods that people may use to manipulate you and get you to say "yes" when you want to say "no," then it'll be easier for you to say "no" because you'll know that the person is just trying to control you in some way. Here are some tactics to look out for: [6] X Research sourceSome of the sample dialouges are cheesy, many are dated, and some are just bizarre. The writing is forcibly folksy and unremittingly optimistic. It's vintage 1975 self-help style and I think that's part of the charm; others may disagree. Extremely helpful book. My therapist recommended it. It was by far the best recommendation she gave. I loved how practical and helpful it was. I'm actively looking to work on the skills that this book discussed.