Many times we get caught up in our romantic relationships, so much so that we lose ourselves morphing into who we think noir partner wants us to be. But the author makes a good point in the fact that that other person, even at their best, is only 50% of the relationship. Knowing who you are and creating your own unique and beautiful life before merging with another is essential to a successful relationship so that you both can show up fully and authentically.

Deep inside, I knew I needed to be single. On purpose. I’ve been in relationships constantly since I was twenty-two, and I knew I needed to build a better one with myself before I could build anything healthy and meaningful with anyone else. I knew I needed to process my own shit. Break patterns. Find a sense of self. Not be codependent. And work on areas of my life other than love. Because there’s more to life than who we choose to love. It may not feel like that right now. But trust me, there is. For John, it took donuts, barbells, and a motorcycle. For the thousands of clients he’s helped as the Angry Therapist, it was yoga, or salsa dancing, or finally speaking their truth. In Single. On Purpose., John takes his signature “self-help in a shot glass” approach and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self. Lindsay interviews Paul Chamberlain, a certified crisis advocate and coach, husband and father, and the creator and host of the podcast Smart Funny Tortured. After suffering from over a decade of undiagnosed chronic illnesses and an inauthentic self he found himself struggling with profound depression and at times suicidal that led to separation from his family and near bankruptcy. Today, thanks to an abundance of love and grit, as well as a blend of traditional therapy, coaching, integrative medicine, and holistic lifestyle changes; he now lives a happy balanced life with his wife/business partner, their two kids and the beloved chaos bundle of pets. He now helps others shift their relationship with shame, find their true essence, and get cozy with the better parts of their Darker Angels. This book is also for anyone who is currently in a relationship but the dynamic has changed. You’ve drifted. Grown apart. The in love has turned to in lost, and neither of you know yourself anymore. There’s lots of finger-pointing, sex is scheduled or doesn’t happen at all, and you’ve both lost touch with the individuals you were when you came together. You might have complaints about your partner but are coming to realize that it’s not really about them. It’s not about changing anyone or fixing the relationship. You have no more energy for that. It’s about starting with you.I wasn't expecting to enjoy this motivational book as much as I did, but it caught my attention as I was processing books at the library, and it turned out to be a great read for me at this juncture of my life. The author's voice and tone was great throughout the book, with just the right amount of humor mixed with serious insight into developing a relationship with yourself - whether you're already in a relationship with another person, newly single, or have been single for awhile. As the author claims, it's not an anti-relationship book, but rather a pro-relationship (with yourself) book. I have mixed feelings about this book. There is some solid advice and insight related to working through codependency, prioritizing a relationship with yourself, and cultivating intentional, connecting, non-romantic relationships. However, there was an underlying contradictory message that if you take these actions, you will attract a healthier love. The motivation to write this book came from coaching thousands of people in the last decade who experienced severe depression because they were single. Many of them had successful careers. Many of them had amazing friends. But because they had no one to kiss in the morning and do nothing with on a Friday night, they saw themselves as failures. They internalized the idea of not having a partner as being defective. Most had been in nothing but shitty, toxic, lopsided relationships, and yet being single was worse. They figured something was wrong with them, and they came to me to find out what that was. A lot of them were in their thirties or forties, and they felt like time was running out. They felt the sand in the hourglass draining as they lost more and more hope.

Whether you've embraced the advice in Single on Purpose or are just discovering Kim's ideas, 31 Days of Single on Purpose can help you transform being single into a joyous, exciting period of personal growth filled with memories, deep work, play, forgiveness, and freedom. Kim has gone on to help thousands of clients find their own unique way to break free of expectations and finally live their truth. With Single on Purpose, Kim takes his signature no-BS "self-help in a shot glass" approach as he shares his own singlehood story and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self.Our safe tree also includes our tribe. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or extrovert, the people you engage with will encourage you and sharpen you. Or bring you down and stunt your growth. It makes all the difference. I’ve tried life alone. I’ve surrounded myself with people who were negative and draining. It doesn’t work. And if one of those people is the person you’re sharing a bed with, there needs to be a real honest conversation. Or many. And if nothing changes, you need to be with someone else. Your potential and everything you can offer the world isn’t even about you. First, we must get rid of one of the greatest misconceptions about life, the idea that you can’t be happy unless you are with someone. I’ve coached thousands of singles over the years, and every single one of them believed when they came to me that they couldn’t be happy unless they found a partner. Unless they were married. Unless they had someone to come home to. Their singlehood meant they were incomplete or defective. Less than. They believed there was something wrong with them. If you’re single and you want to make it about you again. Or maybe for the first time. The time is now.

Single on Purpose is for people who have never been involved, people who have jumped from partner to partner, and those who have lost themselves in their current relationship—anyone who needs to learn that there’s more to life than who we choose to love. Book Genre: Health, Love, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Philosophy, Psychology, Relationships, Self Help One of the sections of the book that spoke to me is the discussion about the need to love and understand your body. I struggle with this, but it’s so important. Knowing what makes your body thrive and communicating that to your partner when you have one is something learned in time for many and it’s something that will only add to your own self appreciation in the long run.I will not be in a lopsided relationship where they don’t make space for me to hear my story and understand my emotions There's more to life than loving someone. But being single can feel like a death sentence. Why does being alone = being lonely? And why do we stop working on ourselves when we're in a relationship?