A man approaches a gorgeous woman in a department store and says to her "I have lost my wife somewhere in here, would you be able to talk to me for a little while". Redhead tells her blonde stepsister, “I slept with a Brazilian….” The blonde replies, “Oh my God! You s**t! How many is a brazilian?” I’m the highlight of many dates. I’m especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. What am I?

Why couldn’t the husband speak to his wife for several years? Because she asked him never to interrupt her. What is worse than waking up after a big party and finding out a pen*s drawn on your forehead? Finding out that it was traced.They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds? Some of us are more deviant than others. However, there will be few people who have never committed a single act of naughtiness throughout their lives. In truth, without a little mischief, especially as children, our lives would be pretty boring. What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between br*asts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked? It starts with the letter “P” and ends in “O.R.N”. I play a major role in the film industry. What am I?

Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only f***ing yourself! Every man has one. It feels great when you blow it and if you’re not careful, it may drip. What is it? How can a single egg be fertilized with 100 million sperm? Because they will not stop to get directions. If it was so fast that she couldn’t even blink, can you say it really happened? 6. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball! The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I’d like to masturbate in the cup. I said, “Well, I’m pretty good, but I don’t think I’m ready to compete just yet.”

Do you know why it takes around 200 million sperm cells to fertilize just one egg? It’s because they won’t stop to ask for directions.