Amazonian Mistress

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When I first started and was still learning the ropes, I ended up breaking two ribs on a client after sitting on him,” she said, adding that he had a health problem. There are strict rules, including no sex and no touching without permission. Also, clients have to be clean. I’ve got a very strong sense of smell, and if I’m in the dungeon the last thing I want to be thinking is: Oh my God, that BO’s making my eyes burn! My specialty is in tease and desperation play. There are many ways to put someone in “sub space”—a state of mind in which your inhibitions and ego go completely out the window and you are overcome by an utterly submissive feeling. One way to reach this state is via sexual desperation. By building up arousal over time without sexual gratification, eventually you reach a point where your sexual desires become too overwhelming to handle—it is a place where you are willing to do anything for gratification, and at that moment, my power over you is absolute. They range from the “newbie” who has an interest that's been sparked in him and is curious and seeking a safe person and place to explore all the way to those who've been playing in the arts of BDSM for 20 or 30 years and only want to play with someone who has the experience and knowhow to take them to that special place only an experienced dominatrix can. She added, “Some men want to be roughed up and manhandled, others cuddled and smothered. Some just want to give me their money.”

I would have to say that I don’t have much patience for newbies who do not understand the protocol of how to communicate respectfully and professionally with a dominatrix. While the type of play I typically engage in doesn't involve physical danger, if I were to accidentally transgress, I do absolutely honor limits. I take some time at the start to go over a client’s limits, then monitor them closely throughout the scene. Writing a letter is a condition of entry to Mistress Xena’s dungeon. Be honest with her and she’ll reward you... or, indeed, punish you. When I got in touch I wasn’t quite ready to have a toilet brush shoved up my bum, but I was curious about this once-secret part of the city’s sexlife. Over the years, my slaves would complain that they couldn’t figure out how to introduce their girlfriends or wives to female dominance. I co-wrote a book titled How to be a Dominant Diva which focuses on giving couples the inspiration and tools to explore eroticism, role-play and power exchange in a way that is exciting but never intimidating! Always approach a mistress respectfully yet honestly and you’ll be fine. Trust she knows what’s best.I first became interested in BDSM during my master's program in psychology when I chose to write a paper on sadomasochism. I wrote more papers on SM during my master's and PhD programs, then ultimately wrote my doctoral dissertation on erotically submissive men. During this time, I took workshops and classes on different BDSM topics, preparing myself to work as a professional dominatrix. The dungeon is not a place to be angry. Some women tell me that they’d love to punish men for a living. But if you have a client who’s 83 with Parkinson’s you don’t just beat the shit out of him! The strangest ones are the ones who ask for the most unexpected things. What's weird to me is not necessarily weird to the vanilla bystander, but my strangest session by far ended up with me writing two comparative essays for the sub.

Her line of work may be racy — but nothing sexual takes place between her and her clients, Barbosa said. As much as I’d like to leave my poor testicles out of proceedings, I’m at least reassured that my balls would be in safe hands (or should be that feet?) I’m wondering, though, there must be rules – for clients and for you, personally? Where do you draw the line? I’m a Time Out writer and a very naughty boy. Is that how these things usually start? Because I’ve never written to a dominatrix before. I do, however, want to find out more. Perhaps you could fill me in (not a euphemism). For starters, what’s with the letters? The variety is what keeps things interesting. I have a gentleman who’s into ladies’ watches, and one who’s into clogs. One guy likes to be asked Trivial Pursuit questions and be punished when he gets them wrong. Women often complain that men have no imagination, but they should see what goes on in my dungeon.I hate to lose at Trivial Pursuit, so I’ll pass on the quiz-based spanking, thanks. Re: the ‘dungeon’, that sounds just a tad intimidating. I’m almost afraid to ask, but what could I expect to happen in there? Also, aren’t your clients annoyed at you revealing their secrets? Absolutely. Ideally, I would be friends with all my clients. I am there to open them up to the most sensitive and vulnerable part of themselves—there's a lot of trust and emotional closeness that is built. Some people want more than I can give—whether it's time, attention or specific acts—and in these instances I need to strongly enforce my boundaries, which makes it more difficult to have a friendship. Among others: Arrive clean. CLEAN. Immaculately clean. Clean like you are going to the doctor’s office and the doctor is going to make you bend in every revealing possible angle.

I started pro-domming while I was still a grad student here in LA. Much of my work in the field of art had to do with power dynamics, objectification, voyeurism and exhibitionism, so although I was always been interested in BDSM as a type of eroticized power exchange, I had a hard time giving myself permission to explore it in my personal life. My favorite implements are my floggers and my singletail whips. I have the ability to play very light and sensual or heavy and sadistic if the person I am playing with wishes. Most people do not understand impact play, they think it’s about the pain, but that’s not always the case. Lambskin floggers are soft and sensual, and a person getting flogged experiences a sensation similar to a massage. I’m not against water sports. Urine’s sterile. It’s just that if you’re wearing a tight corset it’s hard to hold on if you have a full bladder. The session just becomes about not peeing too early. It literally interrupts the flow. Nothing is typical in this industry. I have the extremely wealthy to the average Joe, and I enjoy them both. When a client is in my dungeon, it really doesn’t matter to me what they do or who they are in the real world. All of that is left at the door and they get to become something they yearn for and crave, whether it’s to be a masochist, submissive, slave, prisoner, patient, etc. But the common thread is the need to be able to escape the normal day to day. Some people go to spas, amusement parks or the movies, others go to dungeons.As a woman who demands respect and full attention I expect the same from you when you get the chance to visit with me. Thanks for your message. It does indeed seem that your errant ways merit correction. But, we can get to that.