If you do end up going to bed together, make sure you’ve all discussed green and red lists. What do people definitely want to experience? What is off-limits for Carol? You’re now dealing with three or four (or more!) people’s preferences. There are many more opportunities for miscommunication. It can feel really awkward to be the person to bring it up, but if you keep an excited smile on your face while you do it, you come off as safe and responsible and fun. Remember: Discussing boundaries is just discussing how everyone can have a really hot time. That’s awesome! How to have sex with other people You should take time to talk it through and process your thoughts and feelings around it,’ she says.

Opening up a relationship isn’t something couples should rush into without clear communication and fully understanding the expectations of both parties. Kenzie co-hosts a swinger podcast with her best friend Madison called Friends with a Twist. At first, she struggled with shaking that societal programming. She would hear a little voice in her head screaming, "This isn’t what people do when they’re married!" With a little time, she realized it’s "not very realistic that one human is going to fulfill your every last desire and fantasy." I awoke to the glowing, golden hues of a Tahitian sunrise in the best way possible: with my husband’s face buried between my thighs. Like me, his libido was running at full capacity ever since boarding the Luxury Lifestyle Vacations (LLV) cruise through French Polynesia the night prior, and the moment I was awake, we needed to release that pent-up energy. Brenna also hates to see newbies come from a place of scarcity. "Couples with kids and a lot of obligations think they need to get all of the swinging done on this one night they had free that month." In reality, plenty of swingers only attend a couple of events per year. ‘Cum’ from a place of abundance and don’t stress if you ‘only’ play together in front of an eager audience. Enjoy each other. This is about inviting others into what you two share, not just getting some permissible stranger. Biphobia and transphobia in the lifestyleIf polyamory has entered its cultural adolescence, swinging is its elder cousin who has long outgrown the kids table at Thanksgiving. The swinger lifestyle is probably the most normalized form of non-monogamy with its own reality TV shows, all-inclusive resorts, and origin story lore that includes World War II Air Force pilots. And no, the upside-down pineapple thing was not a widespread supermarket swinger symbol, but, yes, at this point it’s become a cheeky, unofficial logo of the lifestyle. Breaking this rule without prior agreement from your partner is a breach of trust,’ says sex expert Isabelle from Bedbible. ‘Crossing your partner’s boundaries in this way and being dishonest by doing it without their consent damages the foundation of trust needed in a relationship.’ Can ‘soft swinging’ have benefits in a relationship? When done properly, soft swinging can be a great way for couples to keep sex exciting and build intimacy and connection,’ explains Isabelle.

Got a question about sex that you're too embarrassed to ask? In the online sex misinformation crisis, getting accurate and reliable answers about sex is more difficult than ever before. Mashable is here to answer all your burning sex questions — from the weird and wonderful, to the graphic and gory. Think of us as your sexy agony aunts.It’s also okay if you realize that swinging isn’t for you! Couples close their relationships because they don’t have the time to attend parties or sort through profiles, and reopen again later. Sometimes you don’t have the bandwidth for the extra communication because work is too stressful. Maybe this experiment helped you realize you only need a sex party once a year when the kids are at camp. You also just might not enjoy sharing your loved one sexually — and that is totally fine. While people are now debating the act of soft swinging, Isabelle says that the practice could improve the sex lives of couples and is also a good way to introduce non-monogamy into a relationship. I wouldn’t say swinging necessarily improved our marriage, nor did it worsen it. What has it accomplished? It allowed us to spend a lot more time together while doing something fun we both enjoy. Warning: As you’d expect, this week’s diary features some explicit details about sex, so it’s definitely NSFW. Monday We celebrated his birthday right away with a leg-shakingly good romp in bed. At this point, all the swingers knew it was his special day, and both of us were turned on just by the thought of what could happen.

And yes, some couples do come up with safe words or hand signals for when they want to get the hell out of there. From the onset, I wasn’t jealous. I was, in fact, proud of John’s endurance, and I credit it all to his training with me. Of course, having the kind of sex most people only get to fantasise about didn’t hurt either. Friday Perhaps surprisingly, sex with others was not our priority: for us, it’s about building community. We’ve made some of our closest friends at swingers events, and we hoped that after a week of cruising, that number would grow.

So, what are sex parties actually like?

Trust the source. Research the promote or group throwing and the party and make sure they prioritize consent and acceptance. Cuffs says that people outside the BDSM community are often surprised to learn that most fetish or kink parties actually limit penetration, oral play, and, in some cases, even heavy petting. What are some tips for a first-time sex party attendee? People have no idea how much time and effort you’re going to put in looking for dates," reveals Brenna. There’s a "stereotype that swingers will just sleep with anybody," adds Kenzie. "Swingers are much more selective now [because of technology.]" It’s become much easier since our parents did it. But what do you put on a swinger dating profile?