People are attracted to playing in their shadows because it is very hot, intriguing, sexy. Please don’t think that we are robots doomed to reenact the dysfunctions of our childhoods over and over without release, but rather that we seek out opportunities to struggle with these conflicts so that we have a chance to make the story come out differently. If we let these desires drive us without our awareness, they may manifest in destructive ways." Screw The Roses Send Me The Thorns written by Philip Miller and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 1995 with Sadomasochism categories. There was also a lot missing in regards to navigating ethics, trauma, and joy for/with fat folks and disabled folks — for example, how might a person’s ability to engage in normative D/S actions like kneeling and spanking be different based on size or ability?, or how might the impact of shame and punishment around movement differently affect fat and/or disabled folks? I would have liked to see Janet and Dossie offer play alternatives for folks navigating these intersections, and provide a more sophisticated analysis of cultural and bodily barriers to BDSM. That issue is reinforced by constant recaps of writer's personal accounts of public play sessions, which are, frankly, of very little interest and importance and are brought up too often.

The authors don't try to railroad the reader down one particular road; rather, they give you the tools to empower yourself and become confident enough to actually dive into play without excess worries or insecurities. This sort of comforting, non-judgemental attitude can be surprisingly rare in the BDSM community. It's super readable, very inclusive of different styles and intensities of play, and I think it's not only a good primer but a good refresher for more experienced players. The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy (formerly Lady Green) is a great beginner's guide to bottoming. According to the authors, this "new version" contains much of the original advice, like "connecting" and negotiation, but also has new and much-needed information. The New Topping Book is a great answer to the question many new tops have: "How do I actually do it?" This book isn't just a guide to resources and fundamentals of safety and communication, it walks you through creating a viable emotional and conceptual framework for your own domination. The fact is, you get sexual pleasure out of humiliating someone, by treating them badly. Just because they like that doesn't make your perversion better. It just shows there are equally misguided people that fit your needs. This was a fairly comprehensive beginners' guide. It was well written, lively, and approachable. All good things. If it has a strength, it is that the authors, Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, are very concerned with making sure that there is something useful for any new or would-be top who reads this book. The trade-off is that this is an extremely generalist book that is not going to be fully applicable to individual circumstances.preconceptions you may have about "submissives" and the BDSM Scene. So by all means its a good starting point. Three decades ago, this book and its companion volume "The New Topping Book" began teaching tens of thousands of people the joyous arts of BDSM topping and bottoming - not just "how-to," but "why-to"... the insider details of emotional support and ethical interaction during kinky play. Since then, the growing popularity of BDSM, and the blossoming of the Internet as a source of information and connection, have created a whole new universe of possibilities for players. Now, the completely updated revised New Bottoming Book and New Topping Book give even more insights and ideas, updated for a new millennium, about how to be a successful, popular player! What the experts are saying "The only way I can think of to learn more about bottming than Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy teach you in [The New Bottoming Book] is to go out and bottom for yourself." - William A. Henkin, Ph.D., co-author, Consensual Sadomasochism Yes, to me such behaviour is pathological, stemming from either childhood traumata or low self-esteem. The cosmic river flows through each of us, bearing nourishment, washing away what we no longer need, making us wet.

The New Topping Book still is worth reading. I'm new enough to have found it enlightening, even after parsing Easton and Hardy through the perspective of a rural, monogamous, heterosexual reader.The second section starts describing different "scenes", their 'rewards' and also tips on beginning and ending them Also included are sections on role play, with short subsections about bondage and submission. It has small sections on dressing, public play, sensation play and other thoughts when it comes to actual scenes. I feel these chapters are nice for a very fresh novice, but not necessary when someone has already been exploring somewhat. So if this book was completely not for me, then why two stars? I think it has value for people who are actually into this stuff.

The authors stress the boundary between fantasy and reality, but as soon as you act out the fantasy, it becomes reality. you have the right to expect support from your partner - whether you're in scene space or out of it Easton and Hardy don't dismiss the minutiae of technique as unimportant. Far from it; they are very clear about the responsibilities that come with rendering someone helpless. Tops have a burden of care to make sure nobody suffers permanent harm, and because of this responsibility the authors insist that a top shouldn't attempt any technique that he or she can't be sure of using in a safe, controlled manner. There is very little practical advice about how to find community, multiple approaches to different types of relationships, etc. It's a very "free to be you and me as long as you're cool with everything" attitude. I think the reason they are so popular is because there really aren't very many good non-fiction books out there about these issues.Infusing BDSM with spiritual weight is totally fine, but I don't think it belongs in a primer for newbies. I made a concerted effort to read this chapter without judgement, but when the authors mentioned a rigger friend of theirs who saw visions of "animal spirits" and received psychic messages while tying people up, my eyes started to roll involuntarily. The conclusion is also a bit up-its-own-ass, talking about Lucifer and illuminating the darkness within and stuff like that, and I mean, come on now. We're not monks, we're people who like to flog others for fun. But I suppose it's better to treat BDSM with too much reverence than not enough.