Lush were a great 90s band and the records they created have stood the test of time and still sound as good today as they ever had. Miki also explores her complicated relationship with Emma - one that has fluctuated between camaraderie and rivalry over the years - and addresses the devastating tragedy that led to the band's split.

Lush were somewhat unusual in the late 1980s and early 1990s as a British guitar band whose lead creative forces were women, leading to some positive attention but also highly negative and, at times, irrational criticism, including bizarre claims their songs were written by their label. It takes you from Miki’s incredibly difficult early years as a child, through to finding music and a journey through the Lush years. While she is willing to change the names of some of its participants to protect them from having their faults exposed, this is a luxury she denies herself.When the inevitable comes to be described, it’s not over-dramatised, but presented with the kind of numb disbelief that is the common factor of all bereavements. The first half – and in many ways the much more interesting half – is a frank depiction of young Miki’s upbringing; the daughter of a Japanese model-turned-actress and a Hungarian businessman, who split when she was quite young, causing Miki to be passed around from one household to another and all over the world. Fingers Crossed: How Music Saved Me From Success’ is the revealing autobiography of Miki Berenyi, former member of British shoegaze band Lush and currently Piroshka. I knew we were a bit crap but it didn’t matter – it was still exciting”, she sums up the early days of Lush. The book is searingly honest, perhaps overly so, with Berenyi's keenness to admit to her own faults being refreshing (a few bad episodes and dubious relationship choices appear to be Berenyi's own fault, so it's a relief which she readily admits as much) but also going a bit overboard.

But here to disprove that notion is Fingers Crossed, a frank and captivating read from Miki Berenyi, late of 90’s indie group Lush. Talented and exuberant the band became hot property as they moved from pub gigs to Shoegaze icons and finally Britpop darlings. As well as the unparalleled joy of keeping the publication alive, you'll receive benefits including exclusive editorial, podcasts, and specially-commissioned music by some of our favourite artists. They made music that ranged from ethereal 4AD fare to indie pop belters, but never seemed part of a scene as such, both their music and the people who made it not being so self-limiting.Self-harm, poor self-esteem and promiscuity are the result of the abuse and dereliction Berenyi suffered and it is difficult to read her accounts of the impact this childhood had on her teens and early twenties without desperately wanting her to find some kind of peaceful resolution. Told through frank confession, wry humour and searing emotional honesty, this is the incredible tale of a trailblazing woman and a seminal band.

She clearly adored her father Ivan Berenyi, even though he comes across as shiftless, unreliable and a consummate womaniser. From the bohemian ways of her father's social circle to the privileged glamour of her mother's acting career, Miki's young life was a blur of travel, celebrities and peripatetic schooling. But Lush’s poppiest song, 1996’s Ladykillers – a scathing put-down of narcissistic lotharios – remains a banger. These aren't all pleasant stories, but there is also a lot of love and nostalgia around, and an evocation of life in 1970s Britain which could both be rough (Berenyi suffered a lot of bullying and attempted bullying at various schools) but also a lot of fun, especially given the privilege of her mother's wealth and introductions to various celebrities.Neuware - The extraordinary and searingly honest personal story of musician Miki Berenyi, revealing the highs and lows of navigating the madness of the '90s music industry. The madcap ups and dysfunctional downs of my childhood and adolescence (London, Windsor, Hungary, Japan, Los Angeles) set me up for the chaos of being in a band and the eventual overkill of a changing music industry. It’s not that she’s being cold or emotionless; she just wants to tell people the facts about what happened in Lush… and every other element of her life. Miki doesn’t trash Lush; she looks back on it with with happiness and pride, but is keen to point out that it wasn’t always the glorious experience that some might think it was.

Despite the title hinting at a miraculous quality of music, the book in fact can be treated as a how-to-survive manual, whether she talks about the hostile environment of the music industry or her problematic family life. I don’t think I have ever read such a self-aware account of a person’s foibles, failings and habits anywhere, Berenyi is relentless when turning the spotlight on herself, which sometimes makes for uncomfortable reading but at the same time makes you love her for being her.

If you’d like to hear Miki’s story related in her own dulcet tones, there’s a talking book version of Fingers Crossed available via Audible. The seedier side of Britpop proves an unedifying experience (although it's good to see various groups, like Pulp, come out of it very well), despite the avalanche of good music that comes alongside it.