You’re both reeling from zigzagging hormones, deranged from sleep deprivation, and dazed by the bizarre amount of laundry that one tiny being can generate. We also realized how important it is to describe the problem we were having without judgment or blame and state clearly what we needed. Enter Dunn, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today. D., professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University told me, your physical connection with your partner strengthens your emotional connection.

Finally, we learned to repair the rift by asking questions like, “What can I do right now to make this better?For me, it was more about what felt equitable: Tom started cooking dinner once or twice a week, which wasn’t an even split but made me feel satisfied. Now I get that this could sound pessimistic, but my hope is that you exhale knowing that you’re not the only one sitting with a whole lot of negativity and disconnection.

How could I go from loving someone so much, creating little human beings with that person, and then suddenly having such an angry inner dialogue about them? In my heart, I know that every time I ask for help using clear language and avoiding judgmental hyperboles, he’s happy to help, and, to my recollection, has yet to refuse to a request. etc), couples should work together as equals, sharing the responsibilities and decision-making in all aspects of their lives. S. labor force, and in heterosexual marriages are the primary breadwinners by a record 42 percent—inside the home, things have not changed for women quite as much.I’d like to offer my support by taking the time to explore your unique experience, provide a space where you can express yourself freely, and together, focus on concrete strategies to address your concerns.